There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
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