i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
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I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
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Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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