Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
