So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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