this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
