You made me cry and you don't even care
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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