Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
