if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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