What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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