Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
