I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
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Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
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We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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