Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Still dying that you shit outside
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize