so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
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