Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
