i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
