Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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