that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
