Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
