Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on