i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
