I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
