For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Did you just see the Batmobile???
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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