the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Randomize