I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
