It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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