i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
