we need to drink 2009 down the drain
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
