dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
