too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
