How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?