is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
