Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.

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(773): View more from Illinois

NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.

(850): View more from Florida

This has already gotten way out of hand

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29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(714): View more from California

When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.

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(951): View more from California

omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited

(951): View more from California

dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles

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(360): View more from Washington

Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?

(208): View more from Idaho

You need southern Jesus

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(571): View more from Virginia

I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.

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