fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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