how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
