just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Who did Billy Mays play for?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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