I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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