It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
