I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
