just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
