He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
