The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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