There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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