My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
