he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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