I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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