im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
