$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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