youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
