dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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