I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
