we're blogging at a bar
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
