i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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