I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
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i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
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My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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