dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
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Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
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I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"