I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
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I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
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the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.