wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?