Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
