it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
