it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
