You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Small penises have feelings too.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
