If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
