Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize