I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
