I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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